Friday, January 20, 2017

inauguration day

by corinne delmonico

illustrated by palomine studios

i don’t like trump.

trump is bad.

he is evil.

he is dumb.

and he is a big baby.

if you took king herod and all the pharaohs of egypt and all the kings of babylon who threw the children of israel into the fiery furnace and nero and caligula and henry viii and rolled them into one you wouldn’t have trump.

if you took hitler and stalin and mao and pol pot and vlad the impaler and bad king john and darth vader and satan and rolled them into one you wouldn't have trump.

if you took albert fish and jack the ripper and ed gein and ted bundy and john wayne gacy and the yorkshire ripper and the beast of the andes and rolled them into one you wouldn’t have trump.

and dumb. if you took all the people who ever put their feet in their hat and their pants on their head and made them into one they wouldn’t be as dumb as trump.

and a con man. if you took every carnival barker and every perpetual motion machine salesman and every ethiopian prince or princess and every telemarketer and every murphy man and every con man who ever stood outside a bank and told a little old lady he just needed $2000 to take out 2 million and every one who ever sold an acre of swamp or desert in florida or mongolia or jupiter or mars you would not have trump.

if you took every kid who ever bit the governess in the leg and every kid in the history of the world who said his daddy made more than yours you wouldn’t have trump.

he is a bad person.

oh, and he has the emotional maturity of a six month foetus who is mad because mommy drank a martini or smoked a joint.

i don’t like him.

how about you?

do you like him?