pickup on mean street - 14. a caller

by bofa xesjum

part fourteen of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

the butler walked into the sitting room. he had a big red nose and stammered a bit, but he had always been a faithful servant. outside, night had fallen, and a cold wind blew through the ancient trees that surrounded the old house. a man is here to see you, madam, the butler announced. a man, babe? not a gentleman? i would say by no stretch of the imagination a gentleman, madam. i tried to dissuade him, but he is most obstreperous. i thought of summoning bailey but he is laid up with the gout, so i thought it better - very well, show the creature in. wait - this is the 5th of june, is it not? indeed it is, madam. yes, i had forgotten. show this individual in by all means. you have done right, babe. lady amelia did not add, you have done well by accident, but you have done well. babe departed , and quickly returned with the individual who was by no stretch of the imagination a gentleman. what a foul looking creature, lady amelia thought. of course, i may be prejudiced, as he is here to divest me of my inheritance. the visitor was short and square, wearing a ragged brown suit two sizes too big for himself. he had a high collar which almost covered his face. he carried a large carpetbag which looked to have been made from a faded old rug of oriental design. he did not carry his hat, if he had one, in his hand. it was this last circumstance which most disconcerted lady amelia. please state your business, sir, she addressed him as civilly as she could. permit me to introduce myself first, the visitor replied with what might have been a smile (for his face was mostly hidden by his high collar). my name is horatio limbo, and i was, until recently, the third mate and ship’s doctor on the pirate ship bucephalus, commanded by none other than the redoubtable captain william kidd. so you are not a lawyer, nor yet a lawyer’s clerk? lady amelia replied in astonishment. why, no, whatever gave you that idea? that is neither here nor there, lady amelia answered stiffly. what then is your business, sir? i have a message for you from your nephew uriel, who was a shipmate of mine on the bucephalus. uriel! that worthless scamp! i am afraid i have not thought of him for many years. but he apprently thought of you, as he charged me to give you this message. and is this message in writing? no, i shall have to relate it, and it is rather long. i see. tell me, does this message involve some sort of buried treasure? why, of course, what else would it be about? the man calling himself horatio limbo looked around the sitting room. please be seated, sir. would you like a cup of tea? i would prefer a glass of grog. i do not believe i have any grog on the premises. well then, i accept your generous offer of a cup of tea, lady amelia rang for babe the butler. but babe was nowhere to be found. he had taken to the highway. next

pickup on mean street - 13. the hat

by bofa xesjum

part thirteen of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

when sophonisba awoke, mademoiselle duval - or the woman sophonisba had taken to be mademoiselle duval - was gone. so was the cup which had held the wine. there was no trace of the wine which sophonisba remembered spilling. and the candle was gone. the table was empty except for sophonisba’s face, which she lifted off the table to look around. the hut was empty. the chairs were gone, and the kettle and the tripod on which it stood. there was no sign of a fire on the fireplace, not even ashes. the door of the hut was slightly open. sunlight streamed through it, and through the single tiny window beside the door. i must have dreamed the whole thing, sophonisba surmised. what else, she thought, have i dreamed? did i dream the three rascals i encountered at the crossroads. and their story about soup and a pea and a something woman? did i dream the war, and the fall of the kingdom, and the sacking and burning of the castle, and the roads filled with soldiers and demons? it would be nice if all that were a dream. and if juiie, her faithful maid, were to suddenly appear with a pot of tea and some cream tarts. but neither the cream tarts, nor the tea, nor julie or any other maid appeared. sophonisba got up, stretched her sore arms and legs, and went back outside. the first thing she saw was a hat - an ordinary brown hat such as a peasant might wear to market - lying on the ground just outside the door. there was a piece of paper in the hat. she picked the piece of paper out of the hat. on the paper were written the words - wear this hat and good things might happen to you. she put the hat on. it fit perfectly and served to keep the sun out of her eyes. she got back up on to the road and began walking. next

pickup on mean street - 12. wake up

by bofa xesjum

part twelve of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

gabriel woke up. his surroundings looked familiar. he was lying on a cot, in a small room with one little window with bars on it. where was he? aspen, colorado? abilene, kansas? ardmore, oklahoma? but he had passed through all those towns… and arrived at the apartment building outside shreveport, louisiana… it all came back to him… knocking on the door… not being let in…. going back to the bus station… was it all a dream? was he back in jail somewhere in kansas? or in oakland? he had an old rough army blanket covering him, but he was cold. he went back to sleep… he dreamed he was back in the bus station…. and a little animal - a rat? a rabbit? - was trying to talk to him…. and his old schoolmate , the archangel jedediah, was pointing to something on the floor … something white, a letter or scrap of newspaper… the white thing turned into a ship and he was riding in it with alexander the great and sinbad the sailor and blackbeard and bluebeard and marie antoinette … a storm came up and captain cook cried, all hands on deck! a white wave crashed over him… when gabriel woke up again gray light was coming through the bars on the window. after a while he heard heavy footsteps. the iron door opened with a creak and sheriff jake brown stepped into the cell. gabriel had encountered sheriff jake on numerous occasions in his travels. well jake, gabriel said, i see we meet again. i am sorry it could not be in more salutary circumstances, but before we begin i would like a cup of joe if you could see your way clear to providing me with one. certainly my friend, the sheriff replied smoothly in his booming voice, just step this way if you please. next

pickup on mean street - 11. back to the bus station

by bofa xesjum

part eleven of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

gabriel began walking back to the bus station. as he did, his situation began to truly dawn on him. he had placed all his hope on reaching annie or cleo with aunt amelia’s letter. but it had not worked out, and now he had nowhere to go, and he was out of money. could he steal money? or steal anything? he had never engaged in such activity and did not think he had the nerve to begin. maybe he should just go back to the building, and take his chances on dealing with the “security” the woman at the door had threatened him with. he did not know what kind of “security” she had been referring to. the kind that would arrest you and throw in a cell but at least feed you? or the kind of “security” that would kill you. and maybe “have some fun” with you before finishing you off. gabriel had heard many stories about such behavior in his long and terrifying journey across the continent. he decided to keep walking to the bus station. and then suddenly it hit him, like the bricks from a blown up city rolling down the tallest mountain in the world… the woman who had closed the door in his face and threatened him with security - she had never said who she was! was she annie or cleo? she might not have been either one! and he had not seen any sign of the threatened “security”. he turned and looked back. nobody seemed to be following him. he had just about made up his mind to go back when he realized he had arrived back at the bus station. which seemed to be closed, or at least deserted. gabriel pushed at the front door. it opened. he did not see anybody inside. either passengers, or employees. a single small light was on behind the ticket counter, but there was no person behind it. it was warm inside the station. not roaring fire warm, but not cold like it was outside, where the temperature had dropped steadily as he had made his way back from the building. he sat down on one of the benches, just to rest his feet before starting back. he leaned back against the high back of the bench. suddenly he was tired… very tired… next

pickup on mean street - 10. mademoiselle duval's tale

by bofa xesjum

part ten of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

well, my dear. mademoiselle duval began, if I am to tell you my story , I must begin by giving you a little background. you were but a child when the unfortunate events unfolded that resulted in my being banished from the castle. and these events can only be understood in the light of the history of the kingdom, so i will begin by giving you a little refresher course on that extensive subject. oh, but i know all about the history of the kingdom and of my illustrious ancestors, sophonisba said, i was well schooled by my succession of tutors, of which you, mademoiselle, were far from the least. ha ha! you think so? no, my dear sophonisba, the history which was imparted to the royal progeny such as yourself was little more than a fairy tale made suitable for children. the real story was very different indeed. and in any case, you must let me tell my story in my own way, as i will let you tell yours. very well, said sophonisba, please proceed. according to legend, the kingdom of a————— was founded by the noble wandering knight amadis, after the fall of the city of mu. amadis, in the service of king toro of neannaland, had led the final assault on the city, and defeated the champion of mu, the mighty baruth, in single combat, after which king mutan of mu had surrendered. amadis had expected to reap a rich reward from king toro for his service. a small kingdom or duchy of his own, at the very least. as well as the hand of princess annafelle, the eldest daughter and rightful heir of king toro. but annafelle had ideas of her own, and conspired with the royal wizard and chamberlain, the abbe alladin, to accuse amadis of sorcery and collaboration with demons - the most shameful accusations which could be made against so noble a knight. i see you are restless, sophonisba, as no doubt all this is familiar enough to you. not at all ,mademoiselle, please proceed as you wish. thank you, my dear, here, have another portion of this soothing beverage. and mademoiselle duval filled sophonisba’s cup - which in her thirst she had quickly drained. annafelle, mademoiselle duval resumed, in truth was outraged at the thought of being betrothed to a mere wandering knight, no matter how gallant. she would also much preferred to marry some old dotard of a long lineaged king, as she could then pull the wool over his eyes as to her relationship with the dapper courtier prince cosmico… indeed, sophonisba interjected, this is an aspect of the tale i never heard in the nursery… what did i tell you, mademoiselle duval laughed. sit back now and listen… sophonisba felt herself grow sleepy. her arms fell to her sides, and her head nodded on her long neck. she pitched forward on to the table, overturning her cup… the red contents of the cup dribbled across and off the table… next

pickup on mean street - 9. the woogle woman

by bofa xesjum

part nine of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

the hut of the woogle woman was further down the road than her new allies had indicated, and full night had fallen before the princess came to it. the hut was back from the road and down an incline and almost hidden by the overhanging branches of a great tree, and the princess might havre passed it if a light had not suddenly appeared in its one small window just as she approached it. was the woogle woman expecting her? the princess made her way carefully down the incline and approached the hut. she could not make out a door in the hut but one suddenly opened as she reached it. the woogle woman had seen her, at least, even if she had not been expecting her. but the greatest surprise was yet to come. a figure stood in the door of the hut. the princess recognized her! it was one of her old tutors, mademoiselle duval, whom she thought must have perished in the most recent apocalyptic chaos, as she had been turned out of the castle doors by the king and queen as a result of some dreadful scandal the exact nature the innocent young princess had only dimly understood. so madamoiselle duval was the woogle woman! the princess was now more curious than ever to learn exactly what a woogle woman was. good heavens, sophonisba, madamoiselle cried. what a surprise to see you here, under these distressing circumstances. and how you have grown! you are quite a grown up young lady! but, please, come in, as the night is growing quite chilly. sophonisba, for that was indeed the princess’s most commonly used name (she had a dozen), entered the hut and mademoiselle duval closed the door behind them. the hut was only slightly warmer than the road and woods outside. a single candle stood on a single table and shed an uncertain light on the interior. the only other items of furniture were two hard looking wooden chairs. a small kettle stood on a tripod in the corner, but was not in use. a tiny fireplace, barely visible, was also unlit. straw, by no means the cleanest, covered a dirt floor. sophonisba noticed that mademoiselle was wearing what appeared to be several layers of clothing, with a thick shawl over her shoiuders. she thought this did not bode well for the prospect of even a small fire. mademoiselle duval directed sophonisba to take one of the hard chairs, and sat down in the other herself. well, sophonisba, the erstwhile tutor began, you must have had some stirring adventures to have arrived here like this. you must tell me all about them. oh no, mademoiselle, the princess replied. i am sure the stories you have to tell would put mine to shame. you must tell me yours first. well, as you are the guest, i will humor your wishes. just sit back and relax and i will regale you with my sad tale. thank you. sophonisba was by no means a blushing violet and added, i could relax a bit more if i had something to abet my thirst, which is somewhat considerable after my long walk to get here. oh, cried mademiselle duval, what was i thinking! i am being a terrible hostess! she quickly produced a bottle and two small cups from the folds of her voluminous skirt and placed them on the little table. next

pickup on mean street - 8. the princess and the pea

by bofa xesjum

part eight of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here

once upon a time a great war ravaged the kingdom of a—————. hunger, disbanded soldiers, and demons escaped from hell and wandered the countryside. also wandering wandering the countryside was a beautiful young princess, whose castle had been sacked and burned by one of the passing armies. the king, the queen, her sisters, and her little dog had all perished or been lost in the confusion, but she had hopes of finding the little dog, at least. the princess had not eaten since finding a few pine cones by the roadside a few days earlier, and she was hungry. she hoped to find a sorcerer or a good witch or a genie who would grant her some wishes, or at least a few more pine cones or some grass to chew on. she came to a crossroads. there had been a sign there indicating the various directions that could be taken but it had been stolen or torn down. the princess took one of the roads as they were all the same. darkness began to fall. a mile down the road she encountered a pirate, an ogre, and a dwarf, standing around, and tending to, a small fire. a small pot was suspended above the fire, but no fragrant odors, or any kind of odors , emanated from it. the princess wondered if the ill-assorted trio might wish to chop her up and put her in the pot. instead the dwarf, who had a round red face, addressed her in a cheery manner, as if he did not have a care in the world. look here , he said to the princess, we are attempting to make some pea soup, but so far all our efforts have been thwarted. perhaps you can help out? how might i do that? the princess replied politely. we need some peas, the pirate growled, or at least a pea, the ogre added in a sad solemn tone. i am sorry but i do not happen to have any peas on my person, the princess answered. ah, but you might still be able to help us out, the dwarf told her. i am at your service, the princess said, provided that i get to share in the pea soup if and when it is produced. of course, the ogre said, what do you take us for? very well, then, how may i assist you? there is an old woogle woman living in a hut down the road, the dwarf said. we believe she has some peas, but we have not been able to persuade her to part with even one. or to admit that she has any, the pirate added. we thought you might have better luck, the ogre said, being somewhat younger and more personable than ourselves. that is all very well and i appreciate the compliment and your confidence in me, the princess replied. but , tell me, what exactly is a woogle woman? is she something like a witch? she is the opposite of a foogle woman, the dwarf said. she is neither a fox nor a hen, said the ogre, if you get my drift. this is all very well, said the pirate, but the only thing that need concern us is that she might have some peas, or at least one pea, with which we might make some soup. so are you game? i do not see that i have anything to lose, said the princess. in what direction is her hut? next