Friday, December 1, 2023

pickup on mean street - 16. a sunny afternoon


by bofa xesjum

part sixteen of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here



the morning had been unseasonably warm, but a breeze sprung up just after noon, to the extent that lady amelia could stop fanning herself.

beside her, sophonisba remained absorbed in her book.

that book must be quite interesting, lady amelia observed. you have hardly said a word all morning.

yes, it is, aunt, sophonisba replied.

at that monent palmerston, ladty amelia’s terrier, emerged from the trees at the east side of the garden, with a rabbit in its mouth, and dropped the creature, quite dead, at lady amelia’s feet.

oh, the poor thing! sphonisba exclaimed. and on such a beautiful day! bad dog!

really, sophonisba, lady amelia laughed. you must not be so sentimental. you can not blame the dog. it is only doing what it does.


the end


Thursday, November 30, 2023

pickup on mean street - 15. the road


by bofa xesjum

part fifteen of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here




dusk, falling on a dusty road.

three figures - abraham lincoln, babe ruth, and billy the kid trudge along silently.

if you are an inhabitant of the united states, of a certain age, these names are probably familiar to you and you have at least a vague idea of what they must have looked like.

if you are not an inhabitant of the united states, or if you are an inhabitant of the united states but of a younger generation, the names might mean nothing to you, and the three figures walking down the road might as well be named adam lawrence, burfield rainsford, and william kenworthy.

but for now we will continue referring to them as abraham lincoln, babe ruth, and billy the kid.

abraham was in no way the “leader’ of the little group, but the other two regarded him as a person who had some experience of authority, and often, but by no means always, deferred to his judgment.

they moved along silently. darkness began to fall, and they could not clearly make out the sides of the roads, especially when they passed large amounts of trees on either side of the road.

they were glad that it was not raining.

they were lost, and had no idea where they were.

this was not an altogether unwelcome state of affairs, as it meant at least there were no armies in the immediate area.

armies that might have been disciplined and inclined to dragoon them into their ranks, or undisciplined and ready to rob them of what little they carried.

and they carried very little.

but the road was long and winding.

and everybody who has ever lived, and everybody who will ever live, was walking down it.


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Wednesday, November 29, 2023

pickup on mean street - 14. a caller


by bofa xesjum

part fourteen of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here




the butler walked into the sitting room. he had a big red nose and stammered a bit, but he had always been a faithful servant.

outside, night had fallen, and a cold wind blew through the ancient trees that surrounded the old house.

a man is here to see you, madam, the butler announced.

a man, babe? not a gentleman?

i would say by no stretch of the imagination a gentleman, madam. i tried to dissuade him, but he is most obstreperous. i thought of summoning bailey but he is laid up with the gout, so i thought it better -

very well, show the creature in. wait - this is the 5th of june, is it not?

indeed it is, madam.

yes, i had forgotten. show this individual in by all means. you have done right, babe.

lady amelia did not add, you have done well by accident, but you have done well.

babe departed , and quickly returned with the individual who was by no stretch of the imagination a gentleman.

what a foul looking creature, lady amelia thought. of course, i may be prejudiced, as he is here to divest me of my inheritance.

the visitor was short and square, wearing a ragged brown suit two sizes too big for himself. he had a high collar which almost covered his face. he carried a large carpetbag which looked to have been made from a faded old rug of oriental design. he did not carry his hat, if he had one, in his hand.

it was this last circumstance which most disconcerted lady amelia.

please state your business, sir, she addressed him as civilly as she could.

permit me to introduce myself first, the visitor replied with what might have been a smile (for his face was mostly hidden by his high collar). my name is horatio limbo, and i was, until recently, the third mate and ship’s doctor on the pirate ship bucephalus, commanded by none other than the redoubtable captain william kidd.

so you are not a lawyer, nor yet a lawyer’s clerk? lady amelia replied in astonishment.

why, no, whatever gave you that idea?

that is neither here nor there, lady amelia answered stiffly. what then is your business, sir?

i have a message for you from your nephew uriel, who was a shipmate of mine on the bucephalus.

uriel! that worthless scamp! i am afraid i have not thought of him for many years.

but he apprently thought of you, as he charged me to give you this message.

and is this message in writing?

no, i shall have to relate it, and it is rather long.

i see. tell me, does this message involve some sort of buried treasure?

why, of course, what else would it be about? the man calling himself horatio limbo looked around the sitting room.

please be seated, sir. would you like a cup of tea?

i would prefer a glass of grog.

i do not believe i have any grog on the premises.

well then, i accept your generous offer of a cup of tea,

lady amelia rang for babe the butler.

but babe was nowhere to be found.

he had taken to the highway.

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Tuesday, November 28, 2023

pickup on mean street - 13. the hat


by bofa xesjum

part thirteen of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here



when sophonisba awoke, mademoiselle duval - or the woman sophonisba had taken to be mademoiselle duval - was gone.

so was the cup which had held the wine. there was no trace of the wine which sophonisba remembered spilling. and the candle was gone. the table was empty except for sophonisba’s face, which she lifted off the table to look around.

the hut was empty. the chairs were gone, and the kettle and the tripod on which it stood. there was no sign of a fire on the fireplace, not even ashes.

the door of the hut was slightly open. sunlight streamed through it, and through the single tiny window beside the door.

i must have dreamed the whole thing, sophonisba surmised.

what else, she thought, have i dreamed?

did i dream the three rascals i encountered at the crossroads. and their story about soup and a pea and a something woman?

did i dream the war, and the fall of the kingdom, and the sacking and burning of the castle, and the roads filled with soldiers and demons?

it would be nice if all that were a dream.

and if juiie, her faithful maid, were to suddenly appear with a pot of tea and some cream tarts.

but neither the cream tarts, nor the tea, nor julie or any other maid appeared.

sophonisba got up, stretched her sore arms and legs, and went back outside.

the first thing she saw was a hat - an ordinary brown hat such as a peasant might wear to market - lying on the ground just outside the door.

there was a piece of paper in the hat.

she picked the piece of paper out of the hat. on the paper were written the words -

wear this hat and good things might happen to you.

she put the hat on. it fit perfectly and served to keep the sun out of her eyes.

she got back up on to the road and began walking.

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Monday, November 27, 2023

pickup on mean street - 12. wake up


by bofa xesjum

part twelve of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here



gabriel woke up.

his surroundings looked familiar.

he was lying on a cot, in a small room with one little window with bars on it.

where was he? aspen, colorado? abilene, kansas? ardmore, oklahoma?

but he had passed through all those towns…

and arrived at the apartment building outside shreveport, louisiana…

it all came back to him… knocking on the door… not being let in…. going back to the bus station…

was it all a dream? was he back in jail somewhere in kansas?

or in oakland?

he had an old rough army blanket covering him, but he was cold.

he went back to sleep…

he dreamed he was back in the bus station….

and a little animal - a rat? a rabbit? - was trying to talk to him…. and his old schoolmate , the archangel jedediah, was pointing to something on the floor …

something white, a letter or scrap of newspaper…

the white thing turned into a ship and he was riding in it with alexander the great and sinbad the sailor and blackbeard and bluebeard and marie antoinette …

a storm came up and captain cook cried, all hands on deck!

a white wave crashed over him…

when gabriel woke up again gray light was coming through the bars on the window.

after a while he heard heavy footsteps.

the iron door opened with a creak and sheriff jake brown stepped into the cell.

gabriel had encountered sheriff jake on numerous occasions in his travels.

well jake, gabriel said, i see we meet again. i am sorry it could not be in more salutary circumstances, but before we begin i would like a cup of joe if you could see your way clear to providing me with one.

certainly my friend, the sheriff replied smoothly in his booming voice, just step this way if you please.

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Sunday, November 26, 2023

pickup on mean street - 11. back to the bus station


by bofa xesjum

part eleven of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here



gabriel began walking back to the bus station.

as he did, his situation began to truly dawn on him.

he had placed all his hope on reaching annie or cleo with aunt amelia’s letter.

but it had not worked out, and now he had nowhere to go, and he was out of money.

could he steal money? or steal anything? he had never engaged in such activity and did not think he had the nerve to begin.

maybe he should just go back to the building, and take his chances on dealing with the “security” the woman at the door had threatened him with.

he did not know what kind of “security” she had been referring to. the kind that would arrest you and throw in a cell but at least feed you?

or the kind of “security” that would kill you. and maybe “have some fun” with you before finishing you off. gabriel had heard many stories about such behavior in his long and terrifying journey across the continent.

he decided to keep walking to the bus station.

and then suddenly it hit him, like the bricks from a blown up city rolling down the tallest mountain in the world…

the woman who had closed the door in his face and threatened him with security - she had never said who she was! was she annie or cleo? she might not have been either one!

and he had not seen any sign of the threatened “security”.

he turned and looked back. nobody seemed to be following him.

he had just about made up his mind to go back when he realized he had arrived back at the bus station.

which seemed to be closed, or at least deserted.

gabriel pushed at the front door. it opened.

he did not see anybody inside. either passengers, or employees.

a single small light was on behind the ticket counter, but there was no person behind it.

it was warm inside the station. not roaring fire warm, but not cold like it was outside, where the temperature had dropped steadily as he had made his way back from the building.

he sat down on one of the benches, just to rest his feet before starting back.

he leaned back against the high back of the bench. suddenly he was tired… very tired…



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Saturday, November 25, 2023

pickup on mean street - 10. mademoiselle duval's tale


by bofa xesjum

part ten of 16

for previous chapter, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here




well, my dear. mademoiselle duval began, if I am to tell you my story , I must begin by giving you a little background. you were but a child when the unfortunate events unfolded that resulted in my being banished from the castle.

and these events can only be understood in the light of the history of the kingdom, so i will begin by giving you a little refresher course on that extensive subject.

oh, but i know all about the history of the kingdom and of my illustrious ancestors, sophonisba said, i was well schooled by my succession of tutors, of which you, mademoiselle, were far from the least.

ha ha! you think so? no, my dear sophonisba, the history which was imparted to the royal progeny such as yourself was little more than a fairy tale made suitable for children. the real story was very different indeed. and in any case, you must let me tell my story in my own way, as i will let you tell yours.

very well, said sophonisba, please proceed.

according to legend, the kingdom of a————— was founded by the noble wandering knight amadis, after the fall of the city of mu. amadis, in the service of king toro of neannaland, had led the final assault on the city, and defeated the champion of mu, the mighty baruth, in single combat, after which king mutan of mu had surrendered.

amadis had expected to reap a rich reward from king toro for his service. a small kingdom or duchy of his own, at the very least. as well as the hand of princess annafelle, the eldest daughter and rightful heir of king toro.

but annafelle had ideas of her own, and conspired with the royal wizard and chamberlain, the abbe alladin, to accuse amadis of sorcery and collaboration with demons - the most shameful accusations which could be made against so noble a knight.

i see you are restless, sophonisba, as no doubt all this is familiar enough to you.

not at all ,mademoiselle, please proceed as you wish.

thank you, my dear, here, have another portion of this soothing beverage.

and mademoiselle duval filled sophonisba’s cup - which in her thirst she had quickly drained.

annafelle, mademoiselle duval resumed, in truth was outraged at the thought of being betrothed to a mere wandering knight, no matter how gallant. she would also much preferred to marry some old dotard of a long lineaged king, as she could then pull the wool over his eyes as to her relationship with the dapper courtier prince cosmico…

indeed, sophonisba interjected, this is an aspect of the tale i never heard in the nursery…

what did i tell you, mademoiselle duval laughed. sit back now and listen…

sophonisba felt herself grow sleepy. her arms fell to her sides, and her head nodded on her long neck.

she pitched forward on to the table, overturning her cup…

the red contents of the cup dribbled across and off the table…


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